An Be One Traveler

50 Sentences

2006-07-08T05:38:31Z

50 themed sentences about Obi Wan and Anakin

Comfort
Anakin wanted to say something anything to comfort his new Master, but as the flames flickered, he found all he could do was grab a calloused hand and hold tight.

Kiss
The first time Obi Wan had kissed Anakin, they had been in the middle of a “discussion”, and Anakin was never sure which one of them was more shocked.

Soft
Astonishingly, Obi Wan’s hair was softer than Padme’s, not that Anakin could tell anyone that.

Pain
After Naboo Obi Wan thought he knew what true pain was, he didn’t discover the truth until he stood on Mustafar.

Potatoes
Anakin burnt potatoes the first time he tried to cook, but Obi Wan ate them with a smile anyway, and that’s when Anakin decided things just might be okay.

Rain
Once when he had stood on Padme’s balcony in the rain, she had mocked him, which had hurt, he never understood why Obi Wan was better than Padme at accepting his idiosyncrasies.

Chocolate
Anakin never thought anything could taste better than chocolate, until he kissed Obi Wan.

Happiness
Obi Wan knew he valued Anakin’s happiness far more than a Jedi should value anything.

Telephone
Obi Wan first realized Anakin may have not been entirely honest about his relationship with Padme, when she commed Obi Wan in tears, once, when Anakin was in the Healer’s Wing.

Ears
When they made love, Obi Wan would whisper things in Anakin’s ear; Anakin only wished Obi Wan would say them in the light of day.

Name
Obi Wan didn’t allow Beru and Owen to give Luke their name, because somehow giving Luke his father’s name helped him justify stealing him away.

Sensual
Obi Wan knew he shouldn’t think of his Padawan in such a sensual manner, but Anakin wasn’t a normal Padawan.

Death
One thing Obi Wan and Anakin shared was an intense fear of death, not of their own but of the ones they loved.

Sex
The first time he had sex, Anakin had been in love with two people, he called out neither name when he came; it wouldn’t do to let another Padawan know either secret.

Touch
Anakin did not like being touched by the Chancellor but he dismissed his uneasiness as awe of the Chancellor’s authority.

Weakness
Obi Wan made sure that Anakin avoided the weaknesses normal to the Ataru fighting style, he wouldn’t lose an apprentice the same way he lost his master.

Tears
The first time he had to take a life in battle, he cried for hours afterwards, Obi Wan held him the entire time; Anakin never dreamed killing would become easy.

Speed
Anakin loved pushing the limits of every speeder, it didn’t help that Obi Wan became adorably flustered when they traveled at high speeds.

Wind
The wind on Tatooine could be deadly in sand storms and sometimes Obi Wan had to fight the urge to go outside, to find peace in the roar of the storm.

Freedom
Obi Wan always knew the life of a Jedi didn’t really suit Anakin, he was made for freedom, unfortunately becoming a Sith had only shortened his leash.

Life
Obi Wan felt uneasy holding Luke, he wasn’t afraid of dropping him, but afraid of ruining another young life.

Jealousy
Jealousy was an emotion Obi Wan had thought he conquered, but he was proved wrong, when Anakin spoke of his eagerness to see Padme again.

Hands
Anakin had always liked Obi Wan’s hands they were as elegant as on politician’s but he also knew they could protect him and comfort him.

Taste
Anakin and Obi Wan never had the same taste in music, and Obi Wan never had a problem pulling rank when Anakin listened to something that particularly rankled Obi Wan.

Devotion
Obi Wan never admitted it out loud but the hardest thing about Anakin’s betrayal was that his devotion to Padme was far deeper than his devotion to his Master.

Forever
During the war, Anakin finally realized that one of the reasons a Jedi shouldn’t promise forever to someone, is because they can’t even be sure of tomorrow.

Blood
Once after being separated from Anakin in a fight, when it was over Obi Wan panicked when he saw Anakin covered in blood, strangely finding out it was not Anakin’s blood wasn’t much of a relief

Sickness
Once Anakin was bedridden and delirious with the Corellian Flu, all he could really remember from his sickness was a simple song being sung in a clear tenor.

Melody
It was when he heard Obi Wan humming the same melody months later, that he realized he might be something more than a promise to a dead man.

Star
Anakin had always wanted to see all the Stars, as Vader he only wanted to forget they existed.

Home
It wasn’t until he stopped referring to Tatooine as home in his mind, that he realized he had found his home, and home was Obi Wan.

Confusion
When he awoke clinging to Anakin with the Chancellor dangling below, despite his confusion, Obi Wan knew he was safe, Anakin would never let him come to serious harm.

Fear
Despite the nickname he was given by the media, Anakin was scared all the time.

Lightening/Thunder
The first time it Anakin had experienced a true storm, he had been in his and Obi Wan’s quarters, he yelped when the thunder boomed, Obi Wan only chuckled then opened his arms.

Bonds
The fact that some part of Anakin was still in Vader was pretty hard to believe, especially since because of their bond, Obi Wan felt a majority of Vader’s emotions.

Market
Anakin loved to visit markets on the various planets he got to visit, and he dragged Obi Wan along every time.

Technology
Anakin always seemed at home with the latest technology, while Obi Wan only adjusted dutifully, Anakin thought it was because Obi Wan belonged to a different time, a time when honor mattered.

Gift
The only gift Anakin ever gave to Obi Wan was his Padawan braid, surprisingly that day he saw tears in Obi Wan’s eyes for the second time, he didn’t see Obi Wan like that again until he was to far gone to appreciate the beauty of it.

Smile
Both Padme and Obi Wan had a smile that anchored Anakin, but neither of that had much reason to smile during the war.

Innocence
Innocence was not something slaves had the luxury of; in that way they are similar to the Jedi.

Completion
The smile on Obi Wan’s face when Anakin was Knighted gave Anakin a feeling of completion he never quite captured again.

Clouds
There weren’t really clouds on Tatooine, but then Obi Wan wasn’t there for the scenery.

Sky
Anakin loved watching the sky, so Obi Wan always made sure their quarters had a window if not a balcony.

Heaven
Anakin realized he would never know Heaven, because he could never have Obi Wan and Padme at the same time, so he would never be complete.

Hell
Obi Wan had glimpsed Hell twice in his life and both times the Sith had taken away the person he loved most.

Sun
Obi Wan was prone to sun burn, and the site of his Master turned bright red, amused Anakin to no end.

Moon
For years Obi Wan would tell the moon his troubles, until one day he realized he was really talking to Qui Gon, but like the moon, Qui Gon never answered.

Waves
Obi Wan liked the waves in Anakin’s hair; straight hair would have been too bland for such a wild spirit.

Hair
Padme always fussed over her hair, Anakin sometimes wished she would be more like Obi Wan, who never fussed over his appearance.

Supernova
A supernova is reportedly the greatest tragedy, for it is a destruction of an entire system, but for Obi Wan the loss of one man was the destruction of his entire universe.

Final Essay for English

2006-03-16T06:30:03Z

Rachel Neff
R. Starnes
English 367.02
3/16/2006

My Final Essay for English it is about Star Wars....

The Heroes and Villains of Star Wars as a Reflection of Two Generations of American Culture

The Star Wars saga, directed and created by George Lucas, is composed of six films, broken into two trilogies. The first trilogy is composed of A New Hope (1977), The Empire Strikes Back (1980), and The Return of the Jedi (1983); this trilogy will be referred to as the original trilogy. The second trilogy is composed of The Phantom Menace (1999), The Attack of the Clones (2002), and The Revenge of the Sith (2005); this trilogy will be referred to as the prequel trilogy. The Star Wars saga has a huge fan following and has become a part of American culture to the point that it is alluded to in other movies, political speeches, and other areas of pop culture (Kramer, Movies as History). Star Wars has such staying power because the characters of Star Wars have evolved with time. Though on the surface Star Wars may seem to be a sweeping romantic epic set in a galaxy far far away, it is actually a commentary on the qualities valued by American culture which is reflected by the heroes and villains on screen, belong to three different governmental structures: the Empire, the Rebellion, and the Old Republic. The Empire and the Rebellion were the structures present in the original trilogy, while the Old Republic was the focus of the prequel trilogy. These governmental structures and the characters that make them up reflect periods that the trilogies were released.
One of the more striking reflections can be found in the representation of the Empire. In the original trilogy, the Empire is portrayed as wholly evil; no effort is made to garner sympathy for this enemy. The warriors of the Empire are dehumanized. The storm troopers battle in white suits that wholly cover their human appearance making them seem mechanical. When the face of a member of the Empire is shown it is a white, male face. This Empire that dehumanizes its members and only allows white older men into leadership is portrayed as evil. An obvious criticism falls over into the real world. The dehumanization or mechanization of the lower members of the Imperial Society is a reflection of communism. The original films were released between 1977 and 1983 when the Soviet Union was still a threat, so it is reasonable the Lucas would want the Empire to be an enemy to which the common American could relate. However, the Soviets aren’t the only culture guilty of keeping minorities and women out of positions of power. The United States at this time is undergoing both a Civil Rights movement and a Women’s Liberation movement. Star Wars by villainizing the behavior of the Empire is also making an obvious criticism about several components of the American culture.
In stark contrast to the Empire is the Rebellion. While the members of the Empire belittle the religion of Star Wars, the Force, the Rebellion embraces it and uses the Jedi farewell of “May the Force be with you.” The leadership positions of the Rebellion include aliens, which will not be found among the Empire. Women also are capable of holding power positions, most notably Princess Leia. The Rebellion is an idealized idea of what the American society is capable of being. The members of the Rebellion are as a group young and idealistic. They are motivated by the greater good. The Rebellion and the Empire are sharp opposites. The Empire is the sort of behavior that should be avoided and the behavior of the Rebellion should be embraced. This includes questioning authority. The blind acceptance of authority in the Empire often results in the death of subordinates if they should fail, while the entire driving force of the Rebellion is the refusal to accept a tyrannical government. The Rebellion’s unbiased nature is necessary to their final success. They could have never succeeded against the Empire’s second Death Star without the help of the Ewoks, the teddy bear like creatures that the Empire likely would have decimated rather than make friends. Clearly Lucas is using to Star Wars to make a larger point about the importance of equality. The opposing forces in the movies link directly to the opposing forces in the real world at the time making Star Wars’s connection to American culture even stronger.
American culture has changed since the release of the original trilogy. That is demonstrated by the differences between the Old Republic in the prequel trilogy, the Empire, and the Rebellion. While the Empire is clearly evil, the Rebellion is clearly good; the Republic has no clear moral alignment. The intentions of the Republic are good, insuring the peace and protection of the entire galaxy through democracy. Somewhere in its long life, the Republic has lost its way; it has been overrun by bureaucracy and big business. The governmental structure of the Republic can be broken into two major components, the Senate and the Jedi. The Senate is the more obviously corrupt of the two; it is used and twisted by the Sith Lord to create a tyrannical Empire. The Senators have lost sight of the common good and are more concerned with personal gain and keeping in the good graces of the rich and powerful. It seems to be a direct commentary on the problems with America’s own Congress. The Jedi though not corrupt are not without flaw. They are incredibly passive; they have immense power but refuse to use it actively. The Council consistently states that the Senate is corrupt and that their actions cannot be trusted but they don’t take any action behind complaining. Lucas is criticizing two aspects of the American culture, the failures of the government and the hypocrisy of those who make no valid effort to correct it.
It is clear that this connection isn’t imagined. Baldwin makes an argument in his article “Darth Vader and G. W. Bush: A Common Vision of Empire?” that Revenge of the Sith, especially the behavior of Anakin and Palpatine are a direct attack on the political policies of President Bush. This is definitely a possible explanation of the characterization of these two characters and it would certainly help the film stay relevant to the current cultural current. In order to further explore Star Wars relationship to the American culture the characters should be explored more carefully especially the changes in characterization between the two trilogies.
The characterization present in the original trilogy is a strong indication of American culture during the late Seventies and early Eighties. Luke Skywalker is the primary hero of the original trilogy. Luke fits the archetypal hero figure. When his character is first introduced, Luke is still immature. He clashes with his father figure, Owen Lars, and is motivated through slightly selfish reasons. Iaccino in Jungian Reflections within the Cinema suggests that Luke’s immaturity is a reflection of Owen’s ineffectiveness as a father figure. Luke definitely matures quickly under Obi Wan’s guidance who according to Iaccino is a better father figure. However Luke’s growth is directly related to the growth of the Rebellion. Luke is a literal representation of the well-being of the Rebellion. When Luke is victorious such as in his destruction of the Death Star, the Rebellion is victorious. When Luke suffers a setback in The Empire Strikes Back like losing his hand, the Rebellion is setback; the Empire is building a second Death Star. Since it the Rebellion was an idealized version of American society, it can be extrapolated that Luke is an idealized version of the human potential. Luke definitely fits the traditional hero mould. At the end of the original trilogy, upon fully becoming a Jedi, he has reached his full potential. At this point Luke is still idealistic, he believed there was still his good in his father. He is bound in his duty to help others; he surrenders himself to the Empire when his presence betrays his friends. Most importantly he resists the temptation to seize ultimate power by joining the Dark Side and the Emperor. He realizes that his purity of self is more important than any amount of power. Darth Vader and the Emperor are both practitioners of the Dark Side and resultantly they are sub-human in appearance. This is a physical manifestation of the corruption of the Dark Side. Luke manages to mostly remove himself from this, though his own mechanical hand is a reminder of his previous failure.
Although Luke is an ideal of sorts, he isn’t perfect. He does, however, learn from his mistakes. One mistake that is particularly relevant to the American culture in the early 1980’s, is his underestimation of Yoda. He makes a judgment about Yoda’s worth based solely on his appearance and as a result Yoda almost refuses to train him. He demonstrates he has learned his lesson when he tells Han to work with Ewoks. This is another example of Lucas making a point about equality. The truth is the Luke of A New Hope is barely recognizable when compared to the Luke of The Return of the Jedi, it is obvious that personal growth is valued. He learns to respect a variety of people, has confidence in his own abilities, and believes the best of people. He is an ideal hero. Mackey-Kallis in The Hero and the Perennial Journey Home in American Film compares him to King Arthur, and he is like a modern King Arthur. Of course King Arthur wouldn’t have been much without Merlin, and Luke had a mentor as well.
Luke’s mentor was Obi Wan Kenobi. Obi Wan is unique in the respect that he plays is a dominate role in both trilogies. Though that role changes. In the original trilogy he is Luke’s mentor and instructor. In the prequel trilogy he is a hero in his own right and a companion to Anakin Skywalker. Obi Wan is interesting in that he doesn’t change much between the two films. In the original trilogy Obi Wan is simply a more mature and confident version of the prequel trilogy. Rather it would be better to say that the prequel trilogy Obi Wan is a less mature and less confident version of the original trilogy Obi Wan, since the original trilogy does predate the prequel trilogy. This is Lucas’s way of indicating that the intrinsic American values haven’t changed that much. Americans still seek the same qualities in their heroes. There is one big difference between Luke and Obi Wan; Obi Wan tries to maintain a measure of emotional distance and Luke embraces his emotional attachments. The Jedi of the Old Republic frowned on love and attachment and Obi Wan doesn’t pass the major tenet of the Jedi Code on to Luke when he instructs him in the ways of the Jedi. This is because the emotional detachment of the Jedi was not meant to be a positive thing. Obi Wan obviously doesn’t truly conform to it, though he tries to during the prequel trilogy. Obi Wan loves Anakin and views him as a brother. However he can not express these feelings until he has lost the Jedi Order and is forced to fight against his truest friend. Obi Wan failed as a mentor to Anakin because he couldn’t openly love him. The Jedi by rejecting the notion of love are rejecting an intrinsic part of human nature. Obi Wan doesn’t try to deny Luke love or Luke’s love for his companions though it leaves him open for temptation, is in the end Luke’s love is one of his major strengths. In this modern era with the changing structure of the American family and the anonymity of technology, Americans are emotionally distancing themselves from the world. Lucas obviously doesn’t think this is a positive thing, the Jedi’s censure of love is meant to be a criticism of emotional detachment.
Another variation on a constant between the two trilogies is the present of a strong heroine. Leia is the female representation of the original trilogy and Padme is the female representation in the prequel trilogy. Leia is strong, intelligent, and independent. She believes in her cause and fights for it without hesitation. She is an example of what women are capable. She is a successful leader and she does not allow herself to be pushed around. Leia is the embodiment of what the Women’s Liberation movement is fighting for. One of the strongest indications of her inherent strength is the relationship dynamic between her and Han. She falls for Han relatively quickly but she doesn’t form a relationship with him until he accepts her ideologies. She makes herself an equal partner in their relationship. In skirmishes she watches Han’s back and Han watches hers. They are an example of the new relationship ideal, an abandonment of the traditional gender roles. Strangely Padme takes this a step backward, though the prequel trilogy was filmed after the original trilogy. Padme has a lot of Leia’s strength and independence but there is a certain passivity built into her character. The majority of her political advisors are male and her servants are female, which is propagation of the male power cycle. Also her relationship with Anakin doesn’t have the stability that is found between Leia and Han. She initially tries to make Anakin take the moral high ground with their relationship but she eventually caves. In the scenes where she and Anakin fight together, he is actively protecting her rather than there being a mutual protection. This passivity of Padme is probably indicative of the increasingly negative light with which feminism is viewed. It isn’t to say that Padme is weak, she has the potential to be very strong. She continuously holds position of power and feels strongly about her convictions. It is on the personal level where her passivity is primarily present. The films are likely making a statement that there is still room for improvement within the realm of equal rights between the genders.
The heroines of the Star Wars saga are both one part of a romantic duo. Their romantic counterparts share the common thread of reluctance. That is Han is a reluctant hero and Anakin is a reluctant villain. Additionally they both are drawn into their eventual role by their feelings for their female counterparts. Part of Han’s motivation for joining the Rebellion are his feelings for Leia, this isn’t his only motivation. Han despite what he’d like to pretend is basically a good guy. He freed Chewbacca from a life of slavery, before he even met Leia. Han has a lot of potential as a hero figure and once he finds an outlet for his potential he becomes a better person. Before he became connected to Luke and Leia, he was a smuggler/pirate. His existence was pretty aimless, he didn’t agree with the Empire but he made now real effort to do anything about it. Yet when the time comes he rises to the occasion and takes the higher path. Han is the potential of the average man. Luke is hero but he also has destiny guiding his path, he is an ideal. Han is more real, he still holds onto some of his less harmless vices, but he also steps up and does the right thing. It’s a reminder that all humanity has potential. Conversely
Anakin tries to be a good person and fails miserably. He is partially brought down by his love for Padme but the larger issue is his own selfishness. Anakin, unlike Han, has to face expectations of those around him. He is meant to be the Savior of the Force, to restore the balance. He is placed under immense pressure and tries to turn to those around him for support but his told he shouldn’t need that support. Again the idea of emotional detachment is criticized. Anakin is very emotionally immature. He is very dependent on Padme and Obi Wan to keep him centered on the right path which is why Palpatine is can sway him. He doesn’t have the confidence in himself that Han has. Anakin was never taught to deal with emotional relationships properly and this combined with his fear of loss is his downfall. Ironically in trying to save the woman he loves, he loses the two people in the Galaxy that are most important to him. This happens because he doesn’t quite understand the intricies of relationships. He didn’t realize that even though both Padme and Obi Wan loved him, they couldn’t follow him indiscriminantly. He feels betrayed by them. In reality Padme and Obi Wan remain loyal to the good in Anakin, which he rejected in order to have the power to keep Padme safe. Baldwin, in his previously discussed article, compares Anakin’s absolutism to President Bush’s stance on terrorism. Which is a valid point, the ends don’t justify the means, which Anakin fails to grasp. Bush shouldn’t try to strip Americans of their rights in order to protect them from terror. Saving the life of a loved one definitely doesn’t justify mass murder. Perhaps in Anakin’s fall, Lucas is warning us to beware of extremism and absolutism even if they are meant to attain a something good.
Absolutism isn’t a good trait for analysis either. Though this paper has discussed the cultural statements made by the Star Wars saga, the analysis isn’t without flaw. The Rebellion is meant to be about equality, but the only black human in the Rebellion is initially a traitor. This reflects the times though. Lucas wanted to make a statement about equality but he had to stay within the constraints of what American culture is willing to accept. Also there are only two strong female characters in the entirety of the Saga. If Lucas meant to discuss equality between men and women he should have tried to have more female characters. This perhaps is a weakness of the Sci-Fi genre as a whole, it has traditionally been male-dominated and few people are willing to completely break from tradition. Yet breaking from tradition is often the point Lucas is trying to make but that is the nature of cinema, at a point the willingness of American culture to accept a film and pay money to see it, prevents films from being too radical.
Despite being limited in scope, the characters of the Star Wars saga still reflect American culture and the potential that America can reach. Lucas is making trying to make some political and cultural statements, but he does it within the scope of what Americans are capable of accepting. This made the films evolve over the decades between each trilogy. In the end, the heroes and villains of Star Wars still represent the best and worst of American culture, and remind America of both its inherent flaws and sky reaching potential.

Bibliography

Baldwin Chuck. " Darth Vader and G. W. Bush: A Common Vision of Empire?.” Humanist 65.4 (2005): 4.

Halbfinger, David M. "’Star Wars’ is Quickly Politicized ." New York Times 19 May 2005: Page 1 Section E.

Iaccino, James F. “The Star Wars Trilogy: The Space Father Archetype.” Jungian Reflections within the Cinema. London: Praeger, 1998.

Kramer, Peter. “Star Wars.” Movies as History. Ed. David Ellwood. Great Britain: Iamhist, 2000.

Mackey-Kallis, Susan. “The Star Wars Trilogy” The Hero and the Perennial Journey Home in American Film. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2001.

Star Wars: A New Hope. Dir. George Lucas. Perf. Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, and Alec Guiness. 1977. DVD.

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. Dir. George Lucas. Perf. Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher. 1980. DVD.

Star Wars: The Return of the Jedi. Dir. George Lucas. Perf. Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher. 1983. DVD.

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. Dir. George Lucas. Perf. Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Liam Neeson. 1999. DVD.

Star Wars: Attack of the Clones. Dir. George Lucas. Perf. Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman. 2002. DVD.

Star Wars: The Revenge of the Sith. Dir. George Lucas. Perf. Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman. 2005. DVD.

Why I write....

2006-02-20T18:12:43Z

Anyone I read a post by imadra_blue, http://imadra-blue.livejournal.com/198433.html#cutid1, anyway the jist of it is an exploration on the reasons people have for writing fan fiction.

I realized I fall into the minority... but that's something I'm accustomed to doing.

So I'm an engineer, while I'm attending University to be an engineer, but it is the same difference. I'm methodical and rational in nature and look for logic in all things. This isn’t to say other writers aren’t these things, though in my experience the artistic nature is beyond these sorts of things. As such I'm probably a little emotionally backward, as emotion isn't something that can be reasoned with. So as a result I'm forced to find another way to deal with these crazy feelings inside.

I do that through writing. I write fan fiction because it saves me the hassle of creating characters to carry on my internal dialogue. I can steal the work of others, with more talent than myself, and then make their characters fight through my internal battles and perhaps find resolution. Though resolution isn't always the result, it at least allows me an outlet of sorts.

In example, I recently wrote a very short internal dialogue piece featuring Obi-Wan, http://community.livejournal.com/ewan_hayden/567530.html#cutid1 . Now I believe the piece was in character for Obi-Wan, mostly, or at least as I perceive him. But the reason I wrote the piece is because I'm feeling my own dilemma. Classes have been particularly rough as of late and I'm having difficulty seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. That light being the point at which I can actually go out and do want I want to do instead of having to take stupid classes that have little relevance to my major and only serve to annoy the hell out of me. Boy was that a run-on sentence.

So I don't write for practice or to really play out the fantasies I have for characters. When reading fan fiction I much prefer those which focus on characterization and emotion than those that focus on sex. I like seeing the internal struggle of the characters.

I've always felt that the internal struggle was much of the point. It is what enables us to relate to various characters which I feel is the whole basis of literature. If this is indeed the case it makes sense for me to steal familiar characters, those to who I relate, and force them to react to situations similar to the ones I'm struggling with. It’s my way to carry out experimental analysis with emotions I suppose. Then I can use the data to make personal decisions. Maybe I'm just crazy.

I think self-analysis is important. This is my reasoning behind responding. If I turn to writing in times of emotional crisis or frustration, I should really evaluate why I do that for purposes of greater self understanding. So I guess I'm glad I had the opportunity to evaluate my behavior.

I realize that I should step beyond on using fictional situations to explore my own individual problems but really if it ain't broke, why fix it. I present to the world as mature, level-headed, and well-rounded. So if I make fictional characters deal with my emotion trials, does it matter if the end result is good?

I'm not really making any progress. But I think I've explained why I write reasonably well. Not that it is really relevant, this isn't a journal for my real life friends as I keep my writing separated from my real world. So those who know me won't read this and I haven't been active long enough to have any fandom friends.

But that’s okay by writing this down I've made some personal resolutions. Which I guess is the point of this little ramble, I write to reach conclusions about myself.

English Project

2006-02-18T18:50:40Z

I'm doing my final English project on the Star Wars saga. Ha... I'm such a dork. But since the class theme is, by the prof's choice not mine I thought I was taking plain old American Lit, The American Experience as reflected in Science Fiction. I think I have a right to be a dork.

So anyway my proposal is under the cut. It is my endeavour to sound academic.

Final Essay Proposal – English 367.02

Topic: The changes in American Culture as reflected by the differences between the two Star Wars Trilogies with a focus on governmental structure as an argument for the literary merit of Science Fiction in general.

Primary Sources: Star Wars – A New Hope (1977)
Star Wars – The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Star Wars – Return of the Jedi (1983)

Star Wars – The Phantom Menace (1999)
Star Wars – Attack of the Clones (2002)
Star Wars – Revenge of the Sith (2005)

The focus will be on RotJ and RotS.

Questions:

1) How do the three major government structures: the Old Republic, the Rebellion, and the Empire reflect the different political tensions of their respective times?
2) How does the evolution of the major female characters, Leia and Padme between the two trilogies reflect the change in Women’s Rights and feminism as a whole?
3) How do the heroes and the villains of the two sagas reflect the change in American ideals?

If only it were true...

2006-01-18T02:48:45Z

Who is your Star Wars man? by mimsey
Name
Favorite Color
Date of Birth
Your man is:	Obi-Wan Kenobi
Your future:	Happily ever after

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Funny little quizzes with excellent results. If either came true... I'd be a very happy woman.

Would anyone want to bang you? by phobia
Name:
Favorite Food:
Wants to Bang you:
This many times:	64

Quiz created with MemeGen!

buckirocklvr @ 2006-01-16T16:03:00

2006-01-16T21:07:35Z

Disclaimer: Don’t own the characters that belong to Ms. Rowling. I do own this particular arrangement of words and punctuation, but hey who gives a damn.

Spoilers: All the way up to Order of the Phoenix, to be safe.
Warning: Slightly slashy. D/H. Angsty

Title: Breakfast Musings

I walk alone.

I think that’s from a song by some muggle band. Really I’m not sure but hell it seems to fit me. I’m alone when I’m in a crowd, distinguished by circumstances beyond my control. I have spent my whole life this way. Even all those long years ago when I was dragged into this brave new world, when I thought finally I had found a place. Actually I’m further from feeling whole then I was in my youth. Hell, I long for those days I’d take an obese bully cousin, bitchy Aunt, and bastard of an Uncle over a mad-man born again of my blood any day.

Still I trod along day by day, a fake smile plastered so firmly on my face that when it actually breaks every once and a while, my followers shrink back in shock. Yes, my followers. Sometimes when I’m feeling optimistic, I think they actually care about me. Then reality hits and I realize that I’m simply a way to distinguish a girl with slightly above average intelligence and a boy with too many brothers. Still it is better to be lonely with company then to be lonely by yourself. Right?

To be frank, I don’t quite know anymore. I don’t quite feel anymore, well anything other than hollow. Empty, a shell. Sometimes I can’t wait for that prophecy to come about; I’d readily relinquish my hold on this mortal coil. To be or not to be, is definitely not a question I ask myself.

So here I am sitting at the illustrious Gryffindor table. Chewing my food with deliberation, in comparison to my male friend who seems to fear a wild band of thieves will burst in at any moment to steal his plate. Hmmmm. That might make me actually laugh for real, not the laugh that comes out of necessity. A laugh created to avoid awkward questions.

So here I sit as I sit every morning, at a later time on the weekends, of course. I sit here and draw my energy and waning will together in order to face yet another day of drudgery.

Though of late, I have noticed a small change, a pair of eyes on me. This of course isn’t a departure from the norm; everyone loves to look at the great and wonderful me. I must admit these eyes feel different, less judging. Okay somehow.

I think I know the identity of the owner of those eyes. There is only one person in this school who did have any preconceived notions about me, which is surprising considering his history. Surely his father would have ground a hatred of me into him before he came to school. Strangely I don’t think his father actually beat this into him until a later date, after my many “successes”. Success, ha, I don’t actually view my life as a success. I shrink away from those who watch me with adoration, especially a particularly vertically challenged photographer.

I’m being watched and for once I have taken comfort in the weight of his gaze. It feels right, inexplicably so, but I’ve stopped trying to figure my life out. I just keep going through the motions. Still it is nice to have found comfort in something, even as small as this.

I look up from my morning meal and meet a steely grey gaze. I return the intense stare with a small smile. To my shock the smile is returned, but then the bell rings and our moment is broken. For once, I rise from the breakfast table without feeling the weighted down. Not even the imminence of potions class can break this well-spring of hope. Strange I thought Pandora’s redemption had abandoned me, it seems it isn’t so. I laugh at a comment from my red-haired companion and leave the Great Hall.

Maybe I can handle being the Boy-Who-Lived after all, at least for today.

-fin

What to do...

2006-01-16T20:57:27Z

I have a feeling I'm going to use this journal to post random fandom things. Stories, most likely since I lack artistic talent. I may post some orginal stuff. Yeah I have a personal blog.
http://myrandommusing.blogspot.com
So that is where RL stuff would go... if anyone even cares.